We present you before the real truths behind your romantic relationship that are important for you to realize if you want a healthy relationship. (Don’t follow the heading read the paragraphs.)
1. True love is unconditional.
Nope. Sorry. Some couples fall madly in love and then, unexpectedly, fall out of love. When people separate, it isn’t because the love that once existed between them wasn’t true. A breakup doesn’t render a former love suddenly meaningless, but it does signify that it was conditional on some factors that happened to shift — a phenomenon we’re all susceptible to simply because so many things are beyond our control. True love is definitely conditional — on timing, careers, health, desires, sudden changes and so much more.
2. Love conquers all.
To put it simply, love does NOT conquer all. All is a lot. It’s literally everything. To say that love conquers all is hyperbolic and misleading. It’s also a dangerous belief to hold onto because it engenders a kind of hopeful laziness. People who cling to the notion that everything will work out as long as they love their significant other tend to overlook the reality that maintaining a strong, loving relationship takes a lot of hard work. You can’t just count on your love to shield you from all the ups and downs you’ll face as a couple.
3. You have to be best friends, too.
You don’t. In fact, it’s smart to keep a few besties around long after you fall in love — for the sake of your sanity, and the health of your relationship. You can’t rely on one person to laugh at all your jokes and to be your go-to sounding board for every single problem you face. When you lean too heavily on anything, even your relationship, you put it at risk of breaking. So when you ache to talk to your best friend about something because they’ll probably get it more than your lover would, don’t feel like you’re betraying anyone. If anything, your protecting your coupledom from bearing the weight of needless pressure.
4. Timing is everything.
Timing is definitely something, but it isn’t everything. Because when it comes to love, nothing is everything. The path each couple takes is informed by countless competing factors. Every togetherness is a complex narrative and while some might be marked by a major theme, such as timing, there are always critical subplots and unprecedented twists to consider too.
5. People don’t change.
They do! They definitely do! This can work out for the better of your relationship, or it can be your relationship’s undoing. Regardless, people definitely change over the years, and if you can’t find a way to evolve together, it’s probably advisable to go your separate ways.
6. True love is all that matters.
Let’s not be ridiculous. There is so much else in life that matters. So many world issues have absolutely nothing to do with love. However much you hate politics or sports or mathematics, those things matter. The drudgery of day-to-day domestic life matters, too. Basically, everything matters, including love.
7. All you need is love.
To state the obvious, you definitely need food, shelter, oxygen and water — all requirements of living and breathing that are not love. Beyond that, you also probably need some sense of personal fulfillment outside of your romantic relationship. Maybe your career brings you happiness, or you’re passionate about a certain hobby. Whatever the case, it’s wise not to rely entirely on love to reach inner peace. You’re way too complex to need just one thing.